


I'll Wait for You

by ellipsisthegreat



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-10
Updated: 2010-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-13 14:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellipsisthegreat/pseuds/ellipsisthegreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You better fucking wait on me when you get to heaven, or I'll fucking kill you. Why? Because heaven can't be paradise if you aren't there with me. I might as well just go to hell and get the eternal suffering the fuck over with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Wait for You

_**DISCLAIMER:** Kingdom Hearts and everything affiliated with it belongs to SquareEnix and Disney. All I own is the plot…_

 _ **Theme:** 75\. Death_

" _I'll wait for you at Heaven's gate. Oh, I don't care how long it takes; and I'll tell Saint Pete I can't come in without my love and my best friend. Oh, this ain't nothin' new…sweetheart, I'll wait for you. P.S. I love you, too. Sweetheart, I'll wait for you." –Joe Nichols, 'I'll Wait For You'_

They were quiet; the chickenwuss's gang, I mean. It was an eerie non-sound—the kind you would expect at a funeral home.

It was centered around the chickenwuss himself, who was pale and on edge. But for some reason, he seemed to be comforting his lame friends. One of them would start to ask something, and he would just smile. If it was Roxas, Hayner would get cocky and act like he usually did; for Olette he added a soothing caress of her arm; with Pence he just shook his head gently, sometimes ruffling his hair as well.

They didn't seem able to comfort him. Or maybe it was just that whenever one of them tried, he shrugged them off.

He avoided me.

It was annoying as hell, so I, being the all-around bastard that I am, confronted him about it after a week of letting him run and hide whenever I approached.

"The fuck is up with you, lamer?" I demanded, arms crossed over my chest.

"None of your business, Seifer." He sounded tired. "Just…leave me alone."

"You scared, chickenwuss?" I taunted. Those sorts of lines usually got some sort of a reaction from him.

He let out an angry grunt. " _Yes_ , okay? I'm scared of you, oh mighty leader of the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee." He gritted out. "Now would you just…just leave me the fuck alone?"

He brushed past me, his friends giving me a rather disgusted look as I watched them all leave with a look of complete and utter shock on my face.

"That was _weird_ , y'know?" Rai asked, blinking.

"Creepy." Fuu agreed.

The next day in class, Hayner had a seizure.

He was in the middle of saying something for a presentation when his body suddenly froze up. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and he began convulsing, crumpling to the floor.

People began screaming, the teacher hurriedly calling the nurse as Olette rolled him on his side so he wouldn't choke on his tongue (Health and Wellness had its uses, finally). The seizure stopped before the nurse could get there, as suddenly as it had started. Hayner just…stopped moving with a kind of relieved but shaky sigh.

People whispered frantically—a few girls were crying.

"What in the _hell_ is going on?" I asked, pushing my way to the front of the class.

"Hayner…he has a tumor." Olette said, holding back tears. "In his brain. It's…they said they can't remove it. He just wanted to try and live normally until…until he can't anymore."

"Until he can't anymore." I repeated slowly, a feeling of dread spreading throughout my stomach.

She nodded, a sob finally escaping her throat. "Hayner's going to die."

I couldn't move. Couldn't feel, couldn't react, couldn't do anything but stand there and stare. And then Hayner stirred.

"Hayner?" Olette gasped.

Hayner shook his head, blinking rapidly as if trying to get something out of his eyes, sitting up slowly with her help.

"Olette?" He rasped, shaking a little.

"Are you okay? We'll take you to—" She began.

Hayner shook his head as he gave her the most heartbreakingly reassuring smile I'd ever seen. "I can't see, 'Lette, that's all. I c-can't…" And then his smile broke down into a quiet sob as he buried his face in his hands.

No one in the class knew what to do. Most just stared. Olette started crying again, wrapping her arms around her friend.

I had never seen Hayner look so helpless…

It was the worst, most frightening thing I'd ever laid eyes on.

"Get up, lamer." I forced the tremor out of my voice so I sounded as snarky as ever. I grabbed his arm with more gentleness than I knew I possessed, pulling him up and out of Olette's arms.

"What—let go of me, Seifer!" He said mid-sob.

"If you're gonna die, you might as well really _live_ first. None of this moping around feeling sorry for yourself." I said. I couldn't bear to see the person I'd come to respect so much (and I did respect him, in my own roundabout way) acting so downtrodden and…well, you know. On the verge of death. "Now c'mon—I'll be your eyes. Tell me what you want to see."

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

For the next few weeks, I was never far from his side.

I think he hated it at first—having to depend on me like that—but after a while I think he was just glad that I didn't act sorry for him. I treated him the same as I always did, except we didn't fight anymore. Our friends took longer to get used to it, and outsiders took even longer than them to accustom themselves to the sight of two ex-rivals strolling down the street together, one whispering directions and descriptions into the other's ears.

Then, one day, he had a seizure that knocked out his legs. Not completely, mind you, but they would spasm at odd times and cause him to fall over. The doctors gave him a wheelchair—I started carrying him around on my shoulder. The first time I scooped him up and set him on my shoulder he actually laughed—it was a fairly rare occurrence since everyone found out, though he smiled often enough. People got used to that faster than they had his blindness.

When the doctors finally restricted him to his bed, I took up watch by his side. I didn't always talk or even let him know that I was there at all. Sometimes people forgot I was there as they came in and talked to him or fed him or helped him go to the bathroom.

But he always knew, I think. Sometimes during a conversation with someone he would tilt his head toward me, unseeing eyes flicking toward the area he knew I would be in. I learned quickly when he wanted me to drive the person off and when he wanted me to step out of the room for a while.

Then, later that night, after everyone had gone home, we would talk. We didn't have a favorite topic—sports, weather, the newest gossip (this was thanks to Rai and Fuu), movies…sometimes we talked about personal things. Our childhood…relationships…sex…

Neither of us were virgins. When he found out about the tumor he'd asked Roxas to take his. He couldn't think of anyone better than his best friend. He told me Roxas had cried at the end.

As for me…well, Fuu and I had experimented a few years before. I realized I was gay, and she realized that she had a soft spot for tan guys with dark hair and brown eyes (i.e. Rai).

I had sex with him once, right after his legs gave out. After that…it didn't seem right to either of us, even though we wanted it. Instead, once we had finished talking I would crawl into bed with him and wrap him up in my arms—he told me once that it made him feel safe, even from the tumor in his brain. At first, he would curl up with me (I pulled his legs up), but then he lost feeling in his right arm. Then his left. So I just cradled him to myself as much as I could, even letting him lie half on me sometimes.

I let him cry whenever he lost something else. He didn't like crying in front of anyone else, he said, and this way he wouldn't. He could just get all of the tears out before they arrived, and crying in front of me was more like letting go and less like breaking down.

Sometimes I cried, too.

(PAGEBREAK,YKNOW?)

"Hey Seifer?"

I snorted as I woke up, blinking the sleep from my eyes rapidly. "You gotta piss, lamer?"

"No, no, I…can we talk?" His eyes were wide with fright and disappointed hope and reluctant acceptance. The way they usually were, then.

"What's up?" I asked, propping myself up on an elbow so he didn't have to move his head to look at me. It gave him a crick, he said.

"Can you…" He pursed his lips together a little. He had trouble finding words, sometimes. "If I was about to die…"

"Hayner, you _are_ about to die." I said.

"No, I mean…I mean if I was about to take my last…breath right now, what would you say?" He asked, still struggling to find the right words. "Say it now, while I can still…respond."

I cupped his cheek in my hand and pressed my forehead against his. "If you were about to take your last breath, I would tell you that you better fucking wait on me when you get to heaven, or I'll fucking kill you."

He laughed a little, tears in his eyes. "Why should I, you…jerk?"

"Because I love you, dickwad—heaven can't be paradise if you aren't there with me. I might as well just go to hell and get the eternal suffering the fuck over with."

"I'll wait." He said, leaning into my hand as much as he could. "I'll…I'll wait for you."

"You'd better, you damn chickenwuss." I said, dropping a light kiss against his lips.

He laughed softly and kissed the palm of my hand. "I…love…you too, jackass."

"'Course you do, dummy. What's not to love?"

"You…promise you won't…do anything melo…melodramatic after I…die?" He asked.

"What am I, some chick? It's not like I'm gonna commit suicide or anything—didn't anyone ever tell you that's a one way ticket straight to hell? I'm not gonna make you wait forever, and I hear that in eternity time goes by faster than it does here." I said, laying back down and wrapping my arms tightly around him—like I would be able to hold him back. "Now shut the fuck up and go to sleep, lover."

"Mhm." He hummed, already half asleep. He was usually tired.

When I heard the first light snore that signaled that he was asleep, I curled even closer to him, no longer holding the tears back.

"Please don't leave me, Hayner."

(PAGEBREAK,YKNOW?)

He died on a Thursday. It wasn't peaceful like we'd all hoped it would be—he had a seizure, and then just…went limp and didn't wake up. The weather was…dreary. It wasn't sunny, nor was it storming (not even a light drizzle). It was just dreary.

I wished it would rain.

The day of the funeral…the birds were chirping, the sun was shining; there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

That was probably good. With all the crying that was going on, the ground probably didn't need any more water.

I didn't cry.

At least, not at first. In the church Hayner's mom pulled me to the front and held my hand, a soggy handkerchief practically glued to her face. I helped carry the casket down to the hearse, then out to the grave once we'd reached the cemetery. Roxas, Pence, and Hayner's older brother helped carry it.

Hayner's mom asked me to talk about him when people were making the eulogies. I hadn't really planned to say anything, but I did.

"Hayner…" I began, trying to get my mouth to emit some of the flowery, gracious words of the people who'd spoken before me. It wouldn't, as usual. I'm not much for talking. "Hayner was…" I huffed a little and shook my head. "Fuck it." I said. "Hayner pissed me the fuck off."

A few angry exclamations followed my proclamation.

"He always did, even when we were kids." I continued, ignored the stupid sons of bitches. "Our first argument, when we were four, was over who got to use the Power Ranger blanket during naptime, and it all went downhill from there." A few people chuckled, most everyone seeming a little less angry. "But it wasn't…I mean…shit. We used to fight because we hated each other. I mean, we _really_ fucking hated each other. All he had to do was look at me and I'd have a go at him; I didn't need any more prompting, and neither did he." I took off my beanie and ran my other hand through my hair. "But then, when we got older, we mostly just fought for fun. Maybe nobody else could see any difference, but for the past few years we stopped hating each other. When we called each other names it was more…I dunno, terms of fucking endearment instead of just to piss each other off. In some…weird-ass way, I guess we became friends. If one of us was upset about something, we'd duke it out and feel better. That sort of shit."

I gulped back the lump that was creeping up my throat. "When I…when I find out about the tumor, I just…I wanted to beat the shit out of something, y'know? We're only eighteen fucking years old, for Christ's sake. We're supposed to be worried about graduation and the SAT and college applications, not…not about how long it's going to be before we die. So I thought…I figured that I should help him stop worrying so much. I didn't want his last memories to be of people fucking _pitying_ him." I sniffed and wiped my tears away furiously. "I tried…I really tried to make shit as normal as possible for him. If I hadn't found out about it because he went blind I probably would've sparred with him at least one more time before this damn thing took everything away from him. But I didn't, so…"

I sniffled loudly. "I think…I _hope_ …I was able to make him happy. Hayner was…he was really the only person around here that _got_ me. Rai and Fuu go along with all my bullshit, and Roxas and Pence and Olette are good for a short argument or something, but Hayner really understood what I was thinking, and why I did shit, even if he didn't like it and tried to kick my ass for it later. Maybe that's why I loved him, I dunno. And yeah, I fucking loved him, so stop looking at me like I've grown another fucking head, alright? So I…" I trailed off and squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. "That's all I've got to say."

Some people clapped. Some just stared. Others started crying harder.

I left the podium, retreated to a tree a few gravestones down, and waited until the funeral was over. When even Hayner's mother had left, sparing me only a short, knowing glance, I walked back over to the grave and knelt beside it, looking around for the people who would finish burying him. When I saw the headlights of their car rounding the bend into the cemetery, I quickly dropped my beanie into the grave, kissing my fingers and pressing them against the casket.

"I love you, you damn chickenwuss." I said as I stood, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "And you'd better fucking wait for me, or I'll find a way to make eternity hell for you even though you're in heaven—and you know I never bluff."

I stared for a moment longer, then left.

I went straight home and cried myself to sleep.

(PAGEBREAK,YKNOW?)

True to my word, I didn't die for another forty years. I became a neurosurgeon after many years (read: too many) of schooling, and ended up saving lives. I discovered that almost as bad as finding out about someone having an untreatable tumor is having to tell someone they've got an untreatable tumor.

Besides that dramatic shift in career choices (I had planned on becoming a police officer), I didn't let Hayner's death change too much about me. I was still gruff and fairly unapproachable, and I turned into one of those crotchety old guys who yells at kids to get off his damn grass. But they all knew it was mostly for show, especially since on Halloween I gave out the best candy, on Easter I held a big egg hunt in my back yard, and every year for Christmas I had a big party at my house and tried to get little gifts for all the midgets.

Hayner had once mentioned a love for kids and a wish to raise one. I thought about adopting, but I'd make a shit parent and I knew it so I settled for all of the abovementioned stuff.

Somewhat ironically, I died when a bad storm caused a tree to fall on my house. The tree didn't kill me—it knocked a picture of Hayner off the shelf and…well, I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

When I got to heaven, Hayner was waiting for me.

THE END

 _A/N: I'm aware that Seifer makes a huge jump from being all 'I smite you, bitch!' to 'I lurve you, Hay-Hay!' but hopefully his little eulogy thing helped it make some amount of sense._

 _OH! And the whole 'suicide sends you straight to hell' bit is a Catholic thing…even though I'm actually a Presbyterian. It seemed like something Seifer would say, in all the overwhelming douchebaggery that he radiates throughout this fic. XD_


End file.
